I finally gave up. But one thing I know is, I tried.
I tried to stop caring, to lose interest, to shrink inwards.
I tried to give up on my hopes and dreams.
I tried neglect, of myself, and others.
I tried, I tried, I tried to be bitter, acrid and toxic.
But just like a flower emerging from the depth of the dark soil, I gave up on the darkness, the self-doubt and impossibilities. I gave up on the hurt, the shame and the pain.
I finally gave up on hating what God had made. I embraced myself, looked in the mirror and told myself finally (after years of the opposite), "I love you, and I'm going to start loving you."
My reflection smiled.